pain

Wed 29^th April 2009-04-29

It’s now one week since the operation and all was going well initially but now there’s this BAD PAIN omg what a pain. It reared its ugly head yesterday I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t move, scream, breathe. The burning breath taking pain in my right side was unbearable. I thought I had actually pulled the wound open. I was rescued by the staff from the bathroom only to experience it again later that day.

Well I was not going to bed last night for fear the pain would grip me when I tried to get out of bed. The reason for this was the fact that when the pain gripped I made allot of noise and I did not want to wake the other ladies. I decided to rest in the chair all night, regularly being topped up with antispasmodic meds pain relief and morphine. None of which took the unbearable ache from my ass for being on it so long in this plastic coated chair.

Thank fully chatting with my best bud took up a large part of the night and Dave of course came on now and then mixing his chat boxes sending me messages meant for the female he was chatting to!!! Until it was time to try to rest.

Morning couldn’t come too soon because that was when I was going into bed. If I shouted in pain I wouldn’t be waking anyone. As I emptied my bladder took some morphine and climbed into bed I began to feel like I had died and gone to heaven. I slept through the drugs round, early morning tea, breakfast and even the consultants round..............but then it came.... The dreaded pain..........

I needed a wee and knew this was going to hurt badly.

The nurse asked if I was in pain, I was honest and said no but I added I will be in a moment when I try to get up so I need some pain relief please...but you are not in pain she replied and went onto the next patient. I lay there for a while cursing her under my breath, but the urge to wee got stronger and I had to make that move.

I gingerly rolled onto my side and sat on the edge of the bed in horrific pain unable to move, the incredible burning, stinging sensation took away my breath and energy, all I could do was cry. I asked the girl in the next bed to press the buzzer for me and she replied the nurse is in here. The nurse came over asking what was wrong and I told her , through my tears in a very abrupt manor that I had already informed her this would happen, she replied well ok I will be with you in a moment and went onto give out the meds to the other patients. I managed to struggle to my feet rather than to pee on the floor and started to hobble across the ward towards the lavatories, it was at this point when she asked me what I would like that I became rather rude and abusive swearing and calling her something that resembled a 4 legged creature of great weight, that provided our milk. I screamed at her through my tears and pain and finally made it to the lavatory, where I sobbed feeling so very sorry for myself and praying the pain would go away.

After composing myself I attempted the journey back to my bed. This is a very slow painful process consisting of little shuffles, terrified to straighten up, holding the right side of my swollen tummy cupped in my right hand whilst tears streamed down my cheeks soaking the collar of my lovely pale pink dressing gown. My bed looked so far away and I could feel every one’s eyes on me as I struggled to get to my bed.

It was at this point I demanded to see my consultant and accepted the morphine the nurse was preparing. I went back to the chair that had destroyed my ass throughout the night looking at my bed with hatred for causing the pain in the first place.

I was exhausted, I needed sleep, so topped up with pain relief I climbed back into my bed despite knowing I would be in agony the next time I needed a wee. As long as I remained still I had no pain, well no sharp pain that is. The bowels were of course going crazy with rumblings because they hadn’t been moved now for two days despite the regular sickly sweet laxative I had been taking. I was resting thank God and the pain was bearable.

A nurse came to take blood, she failed after two attempts and asked a practitioner to attempt. Three attempts later she asked her colleague to try. Seven times in all they tried until the blood was extracted from my collapsing veins leaving bruising, some that have become rather painful. A cannular was inserted so that I could have IV antibiotics. The pain I was now experiencing was miniscule compared to what I had already endured.

Then the registrar came, very nice Indian lady. She wanted to see my wound. In order for this I had to straighten my right leg .............. Jeezzzzzzzzzzzzz not a chance the pain was incredible. I don’t know if she did get to see the wound but I was certainly not liking this lady very much ! She noted that the wound was very warm and disappeared telling me she would tell my surgeon.

There I was, left sobbing, in agony with knickers and PJ bottoms around my thighs, no cover and a big gaping opening in the curtain where she had exited... somehow I really didn’t give a shit, just wanted the pain to go. The lady opposite came over for a good look and supposedly to help me ? GO AWAY FFS, LEAVE ME ALONE YOU NOSEY COW! went through my mind.

Contrary to some peoples beliefs NO I did not say it !!!! I just sobbed L

After the pain subsided and I had managed to console myself, oh and some more Iv antibiotics went through into my vein, I actually managed to struggle to a sitting position without screaming out, yes it was painful but by some miracle, not as painful as before. This was the start of relatively pain free days.

That night I took a 90 minute soak in the bath............ Wow I felt so much better. I was managing the pain at last.......................