Visiting over, Britain's got talent on TV. Young girl opposite back from theatre and nice hot chocolate to drink. I sit with the other two women and watch the programme, desperate to remove the hospital nightdress and replace with my pj's I check my dressing. Yes intact, Yes dry, yes I am going put on my pjs and be comfy.
L within an hour the fluid had seeped through and my nice clean pj bottoms were now bloodstained. I had another pad and thought I would just pad it up and make do till morning.
The poor young woman opposite had been bought back from theatre and apart from her obs and immediate medication she had been left with no buzzer to ask for assistance. I did tell her to shout me if she needed anything. I heard a shuffling and looked from behind my curtains and this poor girl only an hour after surgery was going to get her own drink as the staff had told her ages prior they would get her one and had not returned. I giggled with her as I was amazed how she had escaped from the bed, it was pumped up high and both side rails were fully up. I got her a very small drink and helped her back to bed.
Then my phone began to vibrate, it was mom. We are not allowed to answer on the ward so by the time I had made it to the day room it was too late. So I called her back, she was concerned, she could not get an answer from home and wondered what was wrong. I reassured her and then called Dave. He was busy with our drunk or drug induced son where many many stories could be told, but not tonight.
By the time I got back on the ward I was soaked, this dressing needed changing. Sister was dishing out meds, health care and enrolled nurse were exchanging pleasantries in the office, junior registrar was sat at the desk writing as I looked for the equipment I needed to change my own dressing. After asking for some saline, I was quite happily given all I needed which I found to be relatively negligent considering this trained staff member I would guess had no idea what wound I would be dressing or even who I was and what my surgery had been.
I proceeded to the bathroom, again not the ideal place to be changing a dressing but what can I do? As I am preparing my stuff I am listening to a staff member telling the poorly patient they had moved from our ward that day to shut up and go to sleep. No compassion only impatience, poor love I knew this would be happening at least on the ward she had us all looking out for her now she was shut in a room blinds down and told to shut up...this is a fucking caring establishment. No way ever would I leave my mum in this situation and her family were so caring I know they would be so upset if they knew. The nursing sister was already on her guard as earlier I had gone to see if the noise I could hear was this lady and the sister ran in front of me to get to her as she was about to climb out of the bed, but she had been making this noise for some time so sister was already aware of the poor lady's condition.
Any way I listened as I took off my dressing and cleansed the area. To my horror as I pressed my tummy the fluid spurted out like a water pistol onto the clothes I had dropped to the floor, not sure this would have happened if I would have been lying down, well better out than in so I began to press until it slowed down. On went the new dressing and I proceeded to put on some clean knickers and pj bottoms. As I am leaving the bathroom so is the healthcare I had heard telling the poorly lady to shut up and go to sleep, leaving her room.
I asked politely if she had a bag I could put these in, holding my pj bottoms and knickers in my hand she replied is there not a bag in the bin? As I explained it were my clothes I said oh it doesn't matter I will find a carrier bag.
This SO CALLED NURSE was clearly not in a wonderful mood.
As I entered the ward we had a new bed occupier, her husband with her. On passing I said hello. By my bed I found a carrier and proceeded to put the stained clothing into it. Suddenly the moody nurse appeared with a bag and was most put out that I had as I explained got a carrier bag.
Her facial expression was enough to tell me she was pissed off. I said to her "I did say don't worry I will find a carrier bag". Her next words were, are you going to turn out your light now as people want to sleep and it is gone midnight, her tone infuriated me HELLO? How old am I? How dare she even speak to a patient in that manner? None of us had been able to go to sleep any earlier than 1 am most nights due to ward noise next door or patient noise on the ward or even staff forgetting we were supposed to be sleeping, how dare she then ask me to turn out my light. And to say the ward were trying to sleep when the new lady had her husband chatting to her, was not right, she was simply pissed off with me and possibly pissed off with the world, by her attitude.
I retaliated, I was very angry, I turned out my light and said YES SIR! She replied well people are trying to go to sleep so I reminded her of the couple by the door and bellowed don't you dare start on me, it was quite funny as she left the ward she attempted to slam the door that's on a delayed hinge !!!! I was furious but I saw the funny side of that !!.
I sat for a while trying to calm down, lots of emotions were going around in my head, I wanted to cry ? why ? anger?, I am not good when I have been angered, often I will seek immediate revenge without thinking of the consequence, then often regret my actions. Or I will cry with frustration and anger feeling like a wimp, ashamed for embarrassing myself by crying! Or I may shoot my mouth off OMFG bad move because wow doesn't everything come out then !!!!... I sat and calmed myself...........
I got up from my bed in the semi dark ward and went to see the poorly lady, clearly very distressed and scared and restless. I sat talking to her holding her hand, only momentarily because clearly moody cow had seen me go in there and had fetched sister, in they both came asking why I was not in my bed, I said she is clearly distressed to which I was told and yes she's just had something for it, again I felt like a stupid little girl and returned to my bed feeling humiliated, wanting to cry, on route I apologised to the couple about my earlier comment and briefly explained my reasons. I then unplugged my laptop, gathered it up with my phone and walked to the day room. On the way I popped my head into the office where the BITCH was and said "just want to say you should think twice before the next time you decide to speak to a patient like a 6 year old", I refused to give her chance to retaliate and made my way to the day room.
I sat crying, I felt ...what did I feel? I don't know! I called Dave and asked the question "have you had a drink" his answer meant he could not come to collect me, right now I just wanted to get out of there, it was not to be and I was now going to cut my nose of to spite my face ........I was going to get so wrapped up in my own stubbornness that only I was going to suffer! I knew it, but could not back down!
I tried to chat with my best bud but he had previous commitments and was not really available. I chatted to Dave for a while on the phone but hey come on its starting to get boring yeah? after all is it such a big deal? He is a darling and always supports me but come on! my emotions were all over the place.
Well I sat there till 5am and was beginning to hurt. I shut down my overheating lappy and made my way to my bed. Making sure I closed the curtains totally I climbed into bed and lay there, lots of thoughts going through my head. 5.30 and the staff were starting their rounds, checking beds, patients obs, drugs round. Strange how that morning my obs (temperature and blood pressure) were not taken, nor was I offered any pain relief or antibiotics. I drifted to sleep, refused breakfast, refused bed to be changed.........again cutting my nose off ......
After around 90 minutes of light sleep I approached the nurse in charge and asked to see her. I expressed my concerns for the poorly lady, the way I had been treated and the fact that in my opinion the night team let the whole team down. She agreed I should not be doing my own dressings or seeing to patients and will be having a word with the staff involved. Somehow I feel this would actually go no further.
Staff nurse expressed that it would be possible I would not be allowed home today but I assured her I WOULD BE GOING HOME .. I was not spending another day in this ward, I asked her to get the ball rolling..........................
I WILL GO HOME TODAY..
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